As a child, James tried his best to cope with his dysfunctional loved ones as best he could. He withdrew to avoid provoking their painful behaviour. When he was out of their sight, they couldn't torment him. His father punched him in the face with a fist for any reason and chance and his sister would chase him with a knife or poor hot water on him. He was not allowed to retaliate or complain about it then he would get another smack from his father.
Nobody saw his pain. He felt lost and alone.
James left the house as soon as he was able and went as far away as he could get. However the damage had been done and he took it with him wherever he went. He tried relationships but attracted woman that were as damaged as him and the family he left behind. James had major fall-outs with his best friends and hardly any friends left. He is now 36 and still feels lost and alone.
James was walking around with our number in his pocket for 8 months until he came in to do the anger management programme to relieve the anger he bottled up from childhood. He soon learned that legitimate anger was not a crime and he wasn't guilty if he expressed it and to stop feeling responsible for fixing his damaged partners, which he had no preparation or competence to do. He started taking responsibility for his own wellbeing.
He learned all about triggers and how to communicate assertively when he got angry and how to not take things so personally. He learned about toxic shame and how that makes him feel and about the expectations he has of other and why. It is still an ongoing work but James is geared with some tools he never had and he understands his anger better.
We can help you to overcome and deal with the anger you are walking around with. The memories of violence and abuse that pains you and still give you nightmares.
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