"How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the cases of it." Marcus Aurelius

August 25, 2015

Tips for dealing with a loved one's anger management problem

If your loved one has an anger problem, you probably feel like you're walking on eggshells all the time. But always remember that you are not to blame for their anger. There is never an excuse for physically, verbally or emotionally abusive behaviour.

You have a right to be treated with respect and to live without fear of an angry outburst, a violent rage or passive aggressive behaviour such as silent treatment, sulking and bottling.

While you can't control another person's anger, you can control how you respond to it:

  • Remove yourself from the situation if your loved one does not calm down.
  • Wait for a time when you are both calm to talk to your loved one about the anger problem. Don't bring it up when either one of you is already angry.
  • Set clear boundaries about what you will and will not tolerate.
  • Put your safety first. Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, get away from your loved one and go somewhere safe.
  • Consider counselling or therapy for yourself if you are having a hard time standing up for yourself.
  • As a last resort you may have to raise a Court protection order.

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